God always put people in my life at just the right time to keep me from going over the edge. A best friend, teacher, brother,
sister or a word from a Preacher always kept me in line. As I became both an adult and a parent, I was not prepared for the challenges life would present (or so I thought). However, God cleared
the way for me to hear his calling once again. I serve him by listening to his will rather than my own. It has never been completely easy. As a young man and father, the path has not been an
easy one at times. In addition to having been in foster care myself when I was a child, my world was turned upside down with confusion at a point in my life where my own kids were placed with
Franklin County Childrens Services. One way I found support in being a single parent was through an organization called Parents Anonymous. I was nominated to their National Parent Leadership Team
and served for years, which affords me the opportunity to fly all over the United States to speak to and meet with other parents with the same challenges. Over the years, I have been blessed
to go to Washington, DC to talk with Senators, Congressmen and parents about this organization and how I've come to be the person and father I am today. |
Karen H. At about age 12, there were big changes with my oldest daughter. Although feeling "big" to me, these changes were the kind they tell you to expect with
your teenagers, things like being much more social, pushing and testing my limits about curfew, lying, etc. Within a couple of years, and much to my horror, she had progressed into skipping
school, smoking, drug use, unprotected sex, sneaking out (and sneaking boys in), staying out all night, running away, hanging out with known gang members...and well, I could go on, but I think
you get the point. My experience with the childrens services system began when my daughter was 15 years old after
I was forced via threat of a possible charge against myself to file unruly charges on her after a representative listened to my detailing of the problems I was having with my child. This
situation occured upon visiting the juvenile prosecutor's office in order to get information on help services that might be available to us. Childrens services, as well as the law and other many
systems that were supposed to help, failed in our case, much to the detriment of my daughter's life from the time she was 15 until
almost 2 years after she was released from prison, at age 19. Daily I was in contact with 2 caseworkers, 2 supervisors and caregivers trying to get them to help my daughter attend to her
schooling, urgent medical needs, requiring her to adhere to their own program standards. ALL along the way I was treated as an abusive, neglectful parent. Everyone approached you that way
initially, so with each person, you'd have to explain your story, explain that abuse or neglect didn't apply in this case. Most would still not believe you, some would, but would explain over and
over that the system was taxed and they really weren't set up to handle "these type of kids" and that even if they were, the law was just not on our side. It was such
a battle, and so emotionally trying for a parent who, all along, had been trying to do nothing but get some help for her intelligent, but wayward child who was endangering herself on a regular basis.
It was a long, disheartening, frustrating road. It did not, however, change the fact that I had to deal with FCCS in a positive way to get things accomplished during the time they had custody
of my daughter. The few things I did manage to spur them into action on were the big things; the things that matter most now, when she's a young adult and trying to build a life. My perserverence
did matter, even though at times it felt I was fighting a losing battle. |