|
Cory P.
I am black and my adoptive parents are white. My family consisted of 18 kids of different races, backgrounds and ages when we were adopted. Dennis and
Donna Pariseau took all of our troubled pasts and made us a family.Mom (Donna) gave us the foundation in church and provided us the opportunity for education in a Christian school.
Dennis (Dad) gave us his work ethics and skills to go out, work hard and make a living. Parenting, I've learned, is not easy. They did the best they could and shared with us all that God had
given them. |
God always put people in my life at just the right time to keep me from going over the edge. A best friend, teacher, brother,
sister or a word from a Preacher always kept me in line. As I became both an adult and a parent, I was not prepared for the challenges life would present (or so I thought). However, God cleared
the way for me to hear his calling once again. I serve him by listening to his will rather than my own. It has never been completely easy. As a young man and father, the path has not been an
easy one at times. In addition to having been in foster care myself when I was a child, my world was turned upside down with confusion at a point in my life where my own kids were placed with
Franklin County Childrens Services. One way I found support in being a single parent was through an organization called Parents Anonymous. I was nominated to their National Parent Leadership Team
and served for years, which affords me the opportunity to fly all over the United States to speak to and meet with other parents with the same challenges. Over the years, I have been blessed to
go to Washington, DC to talk with Senators, Congressmen and parents about this organization and how I've come to be the person and father I am today.
|
Karen H.
At about age 12, there were big changes with my oldest daughter. Although feeling "big" to me, these changes were the kind they tell you to expect with
your teenagers, things like being much more social, pushing and testing my limits about curfew, lying, etc. Within a couple of years, and much to my horror, she had progressed into skipping
school, smoking, drug use, unprotected sex, sneaking out (and sneaking boys in), staying out all night, running away, hanging out with known gang members...and well, I could go on, but I think
you get the point. My experience with the childrens services system began when my daughter was 15 years old
(after I was forced via threat of a possible charge against myself to file unruly charges on her) after a representative listened to my detailing of the problems and considered my daughter
endangered in the sense that she would probably run away from my home. What that representative didn't consider, is that youth in the Children's Services system are more likely to
become endangered (and missing) runaways. That's exactly what happened with my daughter once she was in their custody.
I hadn't gone to them looking to give them custody of her; I went to them looking for advice and possible connections to services that might help. It was a long, disheartening, frustrating road. That did not, however, change the fact that I had to deal with FCCS in a positive way to get things
accomplished during the time they had custody of my daughter. The few things I did manage to spur them into action on were the big things; the things that matter most now, when she's a young
adult and trying to build a life. My perserverence did matter, even though at times it felt I was fighting a losing battle. If you are having problems with your teen or preteen, I
completely understand the roller coaster of emotions you are experiencing and the overwhelming obstacles you are up against.
My number ONE piece of advice to give you is to take care of yourself first. You're going to be much
more stable and able to think clearly and in the best interests of your children if you're holding your sanity and serenity as your number one priority.
Having emotional support from other humans is crucial. I would highly recommend
Parenting Pathways meetings and
parent mentors
as a supportive help for you in a time like this. These are people that have been in your position in dealing with childrens services, and can offer helpful suggestions and insights, or even just an ear to listen, arms to hug, or prayers on your behalf.
|
